Nanowrimo 2014!!!

So here we are fellow writers! It's been three days into November and I can proudly say that I'm keeping up with my word goals. When the 1st came around the corner, I honestly had no idea how I was going to even start off my story. I had the general plot of what the first book was going to be like, I knew what was going to happen and what deep dark secret my vampires were hiding. I even know whats going to happen in the second book and even the third. Something that hasn't happened to me in a good 3 or 4 years now. It feels amazing to know whats going to happen, but I didn't have a clue how it was all going to happen.

So after work on Saturday, I grabbed my notebook and my friend and we headed off to Books A Million. It was a windy, freezing day here in Florida and we knew that it was the perfect weather to crap a cup of coffee and write. Of course the second we got there, I had go browse the bargain section.

I found these two beauties for $10!!! I was excited and ready to start my own story. After claiming a table for ourselves outside and happily sipping at our slight two hot gingerbread mocha's, I opened up my notebook and stared at that blank page wondering just how the heck I was going to start this.

Out of nowhere the words just came to me. They were choppy and not at all like the scenes I was seeing in my head, but I kept telling myself that it was only the first draft. I pushed myself to keep writing, cringing as the words were being written down. The story itself is going great, the sentence structures not so much. After everything though I was completely pleased with what I wrote.

Four hours later, my friend was a jittery mess from the caffeine and I was slowly falling asleep. I drove us home and quickly pulled out my laptop to type what I had gotten so far. I made my word goal and managed to fix somethings as I typed. That's why I prefer writing in notebooks and then transferring to my laptop. I can fix so many things that I hadn't thought off when I was writing it the first time. Still I fight off the urge to go back and fix things.

I still haven't quite found a title for my story. Nothing seems to fit it. I'm hoping the more I write, the more I get closer to snagging up the title. I haven't even gotten a synopsis of it. I haven't had the time to write one down.

But here we are. 3 days in with a little over 5000 words. I don't think I've written this much in a while. At least something that wasn't a short story. For thanksgiving week I'm heading up to New York to take in the sights, and I know its going to be hard to write when I'm going to be so busy. I want to meet the 50,000 word goal and then some.

I have this plan that after I finish with this book, I'm going to re-write it on notebook, then fix the kinks and add or change things. I bought myself a pretty notebook with amazing pages that just sitting on my desk, watching me and waiting for me to write in it.

I'm not entirely sure what I'll do when I finish the story. I really would like to share it with the rest of the world, but who knows. I guess we'll just see. 

It's Almost Here

Nanowrimo is 11 days away you guys! For the past couple years that I've known about Nanowrimo, I've always said that I was going to participate. I would come up with some sort of idea and keep daydreaming about it for the entire month of October. When November came, I started writing and by the second day I was stuck and no longer really motivated to write anything. It's just something horrible that always happens to me. This year I refuse to let it happen again.

If any of you are participating this year, add me as a buddy and hopefully we can do this together. I'm super excited for it. As most of you know, I have recently been hanging out with friend and starting planning out my story. Something that I for see going on to three books, but I'm still working out the kinks. I have the entire plot lines for the second and third book, but still am iffy on the first. Again my brain likes to do thing backwards apparently. So far the way everything is playing out, my world is going to be about witches, humans, and vampires. My entire plot line is based off of these three species, but still I crave to have the entire supernatural community thrown in there at some point, but I really wouldn't know what to do with all of them.

I have most of my main characters and I have their back stories as well. I'm still adding new people here and there that all play some type of important role in the whole thing. I just really need to figure out more about my first book. I know the ending and I know the whole climax of it, but what I don't know is how the story get's there and it's just so frustrating. 

Luckily for the first time, I'm not struggling with the dreaded question of what point of view this story is going to be told in. It mostly focuses on my main characters Katia and Sonya, but there are chapters that follow around other characters as well, even though they aren't very insightful as to whats really happening. They show you what is happening with these other characters, but not what they are thinking or what they really know. I want it to be mysterious and lead up to a  surprising climax.

I'm suffering with finding a title for it though. Everything I try to think of either sounds way to cliche or sounds better as a chapter title instead of a book title.

There's still a lot that I have to work out about my story and I'm hoping to fix a lot of it in the next 11 days, but if not, I keep reminding myself that this would only be a first draft. I think that's why in the previous years I've never been able to participate in Nanowrimo or even get past the couple pages of a story. I always re-read and go back and fix things instead of marching forward. There's only ever been one story that I've written that I got super far into and I'm still completely in love with it. I have it hidden away somewhere and I know that at some point I'm going to dig it out and start it again.

Long Days

The last two weeks haven't been the greatest, but I'm trying my hardest to keep moving forward. Sometimes I forget how one thing can change your entire perception of life and mine was hit hard. It felt like everything that could go wrong, did go wrong and in the span of a couple days too. I'm the kind of person who believes in fate and that everything happens for a reason, so I'm doing my best to let myself grieve, but at the same time keep moving forward because in the end, it's all that any of us can really do.

I finally went to the doctors after years and did a physical. Had my blood drawn for analysis and everything. Seven tubes of blood! It was fascinating and disturbing all at once. Disturbing because I found it fascinating.  We'll get the results soon and see whats going on with me. Hopefully nothing bad, and if so I'm mentally preparing myself to kick ass if it is.

I'm trying to get myself ready for just everything that's about to happen. I can't miss anymore work this year. It's gotten bad and I've slacked on my responsibilities too much. So for the next three months, it's me going to work and trying to get through the days. I'm getting ready for a long vacation in New York. It's going to be so exciting. I'm going to plan it all out, so we know what we are doing those days and to make the most of the trip. Shortly after that comes a new car. With payments and everything, which is why I can't slack off. Then finally I start classes in January after a year without them.Terrifying, but exciting all at the same time.

Before everything that happened, me and my friend managed to get in some writing time. I actually have a rough draft you guys. Something that I see becoming a series (at least three books so far) It's always kinda changing a bit, and I haven't written anything either, it's just me planning and planning. So far I really enjoy what I've gotten but there are still so many things that I haven't gotten right. Nanowrimo is just around the corner and I would really love to participate in it this year. The last couple years, I always say I am, but I never had anything in time. Hopefully this year it'll be different.

With all the things that have happened in the last couple of days, I keep thinking about changing some big details of my story. What I have so far, made the world out to be about vampires, witches, and humans. Though with recent events I keep picturing something different.

I'm not sure what I'll do now, but for the most of it, everything staying unchanged until I decide.

My First Legal Drink!

It's finally happened, I've made it to 21. Usually it wouldn't be a big deal, but considering all m friends are a couple years older than me, it's finally nice to be able to go out with them and have drinks. We had such an amazing time at the cheesecake factory and I couldn't have asked for a better birthday.

My first legal drink and I got a strawberry daiquiri. It was kinda cheating, since I've had one before but it was delicious. I'm dying to try a martini and a margarita now. I also had a shot of washington apple. It was okay, but I would have preferred jack. Now I'm another year older and so much more determined to start my life. I'm trying to look for jobs in libraries that don't require a degree yet.It's actually pretty hard to find one, but whenever a job goes up, I always apply. Crossing my fingers that they call me.

I also can't wait until spring. I'm more than ready to start classes again. After a year without them, I absolutely miss everything about it. So here's to new beginnings.

On a even brighter note, me and my best friend were talking and finally were able to come up with a day that we can go write. We're going to go hang out at Barnes and Nobles, grab some coffee and just plan/write our hearts out. She's a bit ahead of me with knowing what she's going to write. It's a idea that she had had for years now and started writing, but never really knew where to take it. It's been nearly four years and she's finally going back to it, after me begging for so long.

I still haven't a clue as to where I'm ever going to start. I was going over all my old works and they were good, but they aren't something that I would really like to continue. I've always tried to write a vampire story, but it has never worked out for me. Usually because I always think that it should be this dark gothic thing, but in my head when I imagine vampires, its all glam and social elites. I will forever love the dark moody vampires or the vampires that kick ass and wear leather all the time, but in my head, my vampires have a king and a queen, they have masquerades and live in places like New York City, London, Milan, Venice. They are beautiful creatures that deceive and manipulate to get what they want. They've been around for thousands of years 

So I guess I do have a sort of backdrop for my story and what kind of image I want it to give, but that basically all I have. Maybe I'll actually have something to work with for thursday.

It's All New

So it's been a while since I've last posted and I want to say that I've been super productive and been kicking butt with all my goals. Some I have, some I really haven't at all. About a week ago I dug out all my old paints and brushes from the garage and started painting. Nothing big, and it's been nearly two years since I've even thought about drawing, much less painting, but I just got this sudden urge,

My process is really just putting a bunch of colors on the page before it actually turns into anything. I wont even begin to tell you how much of a mess I made. My mom wasn't too pleased with it, but she's always loved my paintings and now we're in the process of hunting down frames so we came put them up in the living room.

Speaking of hunting, there are vampires in Universal. This week was the official start of Halloween Horror Nights and us lucky team members got our very own preview night. Let me tell you, as I was walking through the Dracula house, my mind was going crazy with all sorts of ideas when these vampires were jumping out at us and hissing in our faces. Then my mind was completely blown when we walked through a scare zone that is completely dedicated to a masquerade ball. I was buzzing with excitement and nearly talked my friends ear off with how many story ideas I had.

Although we don't get much of Autumn here in Florida, it's my favorite season. I love the idea of leaves changing colors, the chill in the air just starting and of course, the things that go bump in the night. There's two sides of my really, The side that loves soft and whimsical things and then the slightly larger side that loves all things supernatural and slightly disturbed. There's no middle. Which I think is why I always struggle with my writing. On one hand I want to write whimsical sad stories about journeys and love and then on the other hand I want to right dark gothic stories about blood and curses. I still haven't been able to find an in-between.

There's this one book called Daughter of Smoke and Bones that managed to pull it off so perfectly in my opinion. It's all writing so whimsically and magical, yet at the same time its angels and demons and wars. I want to be able to perfect that skill.

Has anyone ever seen this show? I started watching it when it first aired, but then I was always working and never was able to see it. I found it on netflix the other day and I remember how much I loved it. Now I'm just frustrated it had only one season.

Really all of this is just adding to me wanting to write more, but the big problem is that I don't know what to write. Every time I start to get something, I scrap the idea because it either reminds me too much of something else or because it doesn't want to go anywhere afterwords. Hopefully I'll buckle down and start writing soon.

Slapping Myself Awake

Lately I've been freaking out internally and sometimes externally as well. I started this blog almost three months ago in order to gather my thoughts and to hopefully motivate myself to start writing again. So far, it's been a no go. I have been doing better then I was a year ago where I couldn't even get a basic idea about anything. Now I'm slowly, very slowly trudging forth in some unmarked path that I have no idea where it'll take me, but at least I'm not standing still anymore.

In two months I'm going to be 21. Less then two months really, about 52 days. My 17 year old self is screaming at me asking me why we haven't graduated college yet or why haven't we traveled or heck, why haven't we written one book? Even if it was a complete mess.

Yeah, my 17 year old self had a fondness for cuss words. Now I try to stray away from them, but I can't help but let it get to me. I did have all these plans especially about school. I was never serious about it, but I was the kid who got good grades and had a steady 3.2 GPA. I just never saw the point until I graduated high school and knew that I needed some type of degree so I wouldn't be stuck with a theme park job like everyone else I knew.

Of course here we are four years later with a theme park job and kicking myself for missing so many opportunities that were literally slapping me in the face. Now I'm pushing myself to go back to college after nearly two years without it. Sounds absolutely terrifying, but I know it's going to pay off in the long run.

I know I want to work in a museum or a library. Those are the two things that I'm most sure off. I know I want to study Humanities/History. I know I want to write a book. I don't need to share it with the rest of the world, but it's something I've been wanting to do since I was 11 years old and first figured out that I love writing stories.

Come January, I'm going to head straight towards the campus and start my classes and I'm going to work my butt off. I keep imagining this life for myself and I'm not doing anything about it.

Besides school, there's the way I'm viewing myself both physically and mentally. It isn't healthy at all. I've never been confident in myself at all, and there was a time a couple years ago where it got really bad. I managed to pull through with no ones help but my own. Nobody really understood at the time what I was going through. Everyone could see it, but it was easier for everyone to look away and I don't blame them. Lately, I'm starting to realize that the voices that were always getting my down back then are starting to get louder and louder. Back then I used to drown them out with music and a blade. I've realized that I can't do that again.

So it starts today, changing my thoughts. I realize that I'm probably going to crash and burn a few times and want nothing more than to give up. Hopefully I don't.

Hello August, why is it still so hot?

It's never cold in Florida, not really. We have Summer and then about one month of cooler temperatures at some point between November and February. I hope one of these days I can see all four seasons.

I've started saving up for a car and so far its going well. It's nice actually having money right now. I'm also planning on going back to school, though at the moment I'm not sure which one I want to go too. I've been studying at Valencia for a while before I decided to take a break since I had no clue what I even wanted to study. Now I do, but they don't have to program that I want, where as in Seminole, they do have a course for Humanities and still offer the direct connect to UCF. Only thing is the closest Seminole campus is still pretty far away from my house and I don't want to do online classes. Luckily I still have until December to decide what I want to do.

Work has been going pretty great, though not as well as we had hoped. They are cutting back on hours like crazy which I don't really mind, but at the same time it does suck. At least I'm still getting hours.

Another great thing that's happened is that I started Supernatural. My friend has been telling me about this show for years, and I have seen a couple episodes before and they had been good, I just never really knew much about what was happening. I finally started from season one and I can't believe I've waited this long to get into this show.

This is just to great and I'm slowly dying from all the emotions it makes me feel, plus my paranoia is completely shot and every little sound I hear is a ghost or a demon now. I don't know why I do this to myself, but I don't care.

With all the paranormal stuff going on in the show, made my realize just how much I love this genre and brought me back to when me and my friend visited BAM and I found myself in the New Age area. I've been telling myself I will write something about witches and magic and maybe even demons, vampires and every other things that goes bump in the night for the longest time now, but about five seconds after I make this decision, I go back and say I'm not ready or my idea doesn't have enough to actually start this. So for the past two weeks, I've been tentatively doing some research and reading more stuff in the genre as well as watching more shows about it.

I've got an idea, nothing big yet, but it's a reason to write this out. I have my main character and I have what sets the entire story into motion and keeps it moving. I haven't actually started writing anything down. It's all in my head at the moment slowly making itself more and more real.

Hopefully, if I keep going the way I am, I'll be able to actually start planning on actual paper soon.

I Don't Know What To Call This

It's been nearly month since my last post and I wan't to say that I've been completely productive with my days and that my words are just filling up pages in my notebook, but I can't say that. I actually did go and have a writing day with my friend before this month started and I had this idea all planned out to the point where I could start writing and it made sense, but I couldn't go through with it. It was all about vampires and in my opinion it was just what I needed. the perfect blend of violence, and freedom, and fighting for what was right. I couldn't even start it. So far the past months, I've been doing nothing but going to work and coming home to sleep. There were two or three days where I actually got to hang out with friends that wasn't at work and that was amazing.

I'm still in the process of reading The Bloodlines series by Richelle Mead and it's still good. I just bought the third book and now there's two guys on the cover as well as the girl. I'm really hoping that it doesn't turn into some love triangle. I can't express how much I hate love triangles, which was the main reason why I stopped reading young adult books in the first place because it seems that's all there was with every book I would pick up. I was completely hesitant on stating this genre again, but I remembered how much I loved The Vampire Academy series a couple years ago, so hopefully it isn't too bad. Right not it's the only series I'm reading and I have no idea what I'm going to red next. I don't know if I'm going to start the Harry Potter series again or just try to find something else entirely.

The other day me and my friend were hanging out at Books A Million and I found myself in the new age area looking at all the books they had about magic, spells, and tarots. (I don't know why they call it new age, when it's been around longer than Christianity) But anyway, I've always wanted to learn more about this stuff. I've always found it fascinating and would always check out books about Wicca and Pagan stuff at the library whenever I wanted to write a story about witches. I fell in love with this kind of stuff and how they were connected to the basic elements and so on. While I was standing there, I was just itching to purchase all these books and start my research. I didn't get them but its been on my mind and I haven't been able to think about anything else or the fact that I really do want to write something about spell castors. Whether they are going to witches or not, is still undecided in my head.

I've been thinking about it for a long time now too. How I want it to be a YA and how it's mostly about self discovery and romance, because I can't write anything without having some type of romance in it. Though the way I see it in my head, I know I'm going to have to right it differently then my previous stories and I know that's mostly whats been holding me back from starting.

On other news I'm going to start cleaning up my pinterest. I have too many folders for things that don't need their own folders. So hopefully while I'm doing this it'll set off some type of inspiration and get me moving on my plan.

Camp Nanowrimo!

It starts it 6 days! I'm so excited for this. Every time Nanowrimo comes around, I always get excited for it but I never have a decent idea to start it. This time is different. I have a pretty good idea what I want to write and I almost shocked myself when I figured out if was going to be a young adult story. I haven't written anything for that genre in years. Usually it's been that my main characters sort of age with me, but I just knew this wasn't one of those cases. I see my character aging and rowing up, but I see the very start of when everything bad starts to happen. (I love when bad things happen in stories, I don't know why)

So title? check!
Characters? check!
Plot?check!
and whats this, a plot twist? check!
whats that, I have plans to make it a series? check!

I'm super excited about this. The last time I had actually planned out an entire series for a story was back in high school. I was just entering 11th grade and came up with this series that I loved and still do love. I have it stashed somewhere on my flash drive(where ever that may be) It's also the longest story I've ever written (about 20,000 words) I know that at some point in my life time I going to go back and actually complete that series, because it was so cool in my opinion. I certainly had a lot of fun while I was writing it. It was all about reapers, and death, and goddesses.

Now my new story!

I started writing some things for it just to see what kind of point of view it should be. At the moment, I decided first person. It's been a long time since I've even written in first person, so we'll see how this goes. I'm keeping it in mind that I can always switch to third person if I don't like it. I'm going to spend the next five days between work and plotting. That's all I have plan and maybe go to the bookstore and get the next book of the Bloodline series.

But so far I've decided to call my story Love Me Dead. I'm not sure if I'll keep it, but I love it and so far it goes with the story which is good enough for me. I don't want to say too much about it, just so I can keep my excitement alive. Usually if I don't tell people, it encourages me more to actually write and have some stuff for them to read. I don't know its just the way I work.

Of Love and Other Things

I'm a sucker when it comes to a good romance book. Usually I'm going up and down the isles in barnes and nobles just plucking books of the shelves and reading their backs to find out more about them. Usually I never go looking for a book in particular, unless I keep hearing about it. There are two types of love stories that I'm addicted to. The first being about two people coming together and just traveling the world and falling in love with the adventure and finally each other. There's just something so magical about it in my opinion. I love reading about these characters just finding themselves and experiencing life. I'm usually not one to read a story without some type of fantasy in it, but there are those books that sneak their way into my heart and stay there forever.

On my journey to the bookstore I picked up two books. The first was Just One Day by Gayle Forman. I found out about this book a long time ago, but never gave it any real thought. Today I just happened to see it on the bookshelf. I finished it in five hours. I could not put it down. I kept grinning like an idiot and fell completely in love with this story. The second book I got was Bloodlines by Richelle Mead. I've read her Vampire Academy series and fell completely in love with Rose. When I found out she had started on another series in the same world, I flipped. I've known about it for a long time now, but I never really read it because I knew it wasn't the right time. Now I'm looking forward to reading it.

So, I've come up with this great plot and characters for a magical realism story. Like I have everything I could possibly need to just start writing and get a couple couple paragraphs in, but I haven't started writing. I'm so completely frustrated with myself. On one hand, I do want to write this story about magical things with this amazing world that's almost like a complete fairy tale, but then deep down I want to write something completely badass. I have this idea for this girl who's just completely sure of herself. Like the kind of girl who walks like she owns the world underneath her feet and she knows it.

Part of my wants this beautiful and magical world while this other part of me wants the darkness and violence and drama. (I always say that I'm a Hufflepuff on the outside, but a complete Slytherin on the inside) I'm not sure what I'm going to do at this point at all, but I know I have to do something.

While I was also getting myself lost in the bookstore, all I kept thinking about was why I wasn't working in one? I want to be a Librarian, it would only make sense to start somewhere. It's what I want to go back to school and study. I really want to work in a bookstore and the only ones close to me are Barnes and Nobles and Books-A-Million. I like both store just fine, but they have this thing where apparently you have to know alot about the nook and getting people to buy their membership. I don't mind the nook and I wouldn't mind selling it, but why memberships? Why cant bookstores just be about books and not memberships and meeting certain numbers.

Only Me

I got a pretty new notebook yesterday and I absolutely love it. Want to know what else happened? My brain just exploaded with these ideas. I was think about vampires and witches yesterday, but the second I got my hands on this I realized that wasn't what I was going to write. So, I wrote my ideas down and just slept on them. I know how I can be and sometimes I end up changing my mind after a good nights sleep because I realize the idea I though was so amazing, really wasnt. Only this time I woke up so excited to start working on this that I grabbed my notebook, headed downstairs and started writing. Yep, thats right. I started writing and love what I wrote. I mean I'm still undecided on how I want to go about the story and if I want it to be in third or first persons point of view, but I'm just gonna keep writing until I can't anymore.

I can't believe this happened and how completely excited I am at the moment. It's too bad I have to go to work in just a few but it'll just give me more time to think of more ideas. Also I realized that what I'm writing is magical realism. I never thought I would be able to do it, but here I am. I've got no title, not that many characters, but its not stopping my pen from writing across the page. I haven't been able to do that in almost three years. I know that as soon as I work through more of what I have and actually start getting somewhere this project is going to have my full attention and hopefully it'll get posted up on my figment page in the next couple of months.

I'm happy that come July I'll actually have a good project to work on for camp nanowrimo. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed and hope that this becomes something amazing.

So Much For That Plan

I've been so bad. I had exactly six days off of work to do nothing but read and start actually writing my story and what happened? I got sick. So of course I did nothing but mope around for five days feeling sorry for myself and taking medicine. I did nothing. I laid in my bed or on the new furniture my parents got in the living room. At one point I did bring a notebook downstairs with me, but I wasn't fooling anyone. Today is my last day off before I go back to work (Diagon Alley here I come!) I'm hoping that working right in the center of such a magical place, my brain will finally start coming up with more ideas. I'm also off to see Maleficent on Sunday and hopefully that might spark something in me as well.

On another note, I haven't really stuck to my goal of reading more books and less fanfiction. It's mostly due to the fact that I don't have any new books too read and I'm not ready to re-read my old books (I've read them so many times already) I'm about to head out with my mom to walmart (I know) and going to pick up a new notebook and hopefully browse their book section in hopes of finding something interesting.

I also found out more to my future plans. I know at the moment all I'm really doing is saving up money for new clothes, I actually have the money already and I can't wait to see how much more I'll have in four months. After that I desperately want a new laptop, the macbook air to be exact, so I'll start saving for that and give my old laptop to my brother who desperately will need one for college. After that I'm not sure in which direction I want to go in. I'm still looking for other job options that get better pay, but we'll see how it goes. I just really don't want to stay in merchandise fore the new year. This year is halfway through almost and I really want to move away form the registers and do something else. I was thinking about going into the entertainment part of Diagon Alley. It can never hurt to ask questions and try out. Even if it's just a character attendant?

I'm really looking to try and find my own place sometime next year and I know I won't be able to afford that on a minimum wage job. Or if I want to go to school as well. So hopefully I'll be able to find something.

So more about my writing. There have been a couple things that I've always wanted to writing about. Vampire being one of them. I love vampires. I grew up loving Dracula and the Underworld series. I just watched the movie 'The Only Lovers Left Alive' and my obsession cam back and slapped me in the face. There are so many good vampire books out there and so many that just aren't. I wan't to write something about vampires so badly. I miss them and I know that this is a project I really want to work on.

I want to write about witches. Something about them has always captured my attention. I mean come on, they can do magic!

Vampires and witches, I always come back to them, but I never know if I should mix them together into one big story or have them into two different worlds. I love series where they have this supernatural community that lurks in the shadows where the humans can't see them. I'm just not exactly sure how to go about it.

Setting Some Goals

This has absolutely nothing to do with my writing, but for the last couple of years I've been trying to change my fashion sense. I've always been a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. I love dresses and I love skirts, but it's always easier for me to just slip on jeans and a shirt. I don't like showing that much skin, I never have and I prefer layers. It wasn't until I got my pinterest that I found these amazing outfits that I love. I see them in the stores that I go to but I never buy them because I know that I would just leave them in my closet to hang.

So I've come up with a new goal for myself. This summer I'm going to be part of the opening team at Diagon Alley in Universal Studios Orlando (I'm working at Ollivanders!) and I know in order to get through the craziness and long hours I'm sure I'm going to be working I've decided to just get healthier. Start eating better, do yoga (seems like fun) and just generally be more active so I can be used to being on my feet all day. I have so many goals that I've set for myself, but it all depends on how the next couple months go.

I randomly went through my calender and chose a random date (September 20th) where I'm going to take everything out of my closet and donate it to charities. Shoes included. I basically have about four months from this moment to start looking for where I can get all the clothes, save money and hopefully loose weight. Doesn't matter how much weight or if I don't, I'm still going to buy new clothes. So as of this moment I'm going to try my hardest not to spend money on things I don't need. So far I have a good amount saved up and I'm sure by September 20th I'll have just enough for new clothes, shoes, bags, accessories and so on.

After my new wardrobe I have to decide if I wan't to go back to school or start apartment hunting. Again this all depends in a couple months from now if I'm still at universal or I'm working somewhere else. I want to be a librarian and I'm constantly applying places that don't require a Bachelors degree. Mostly I'm applying at offices just to get some type of experience, but so far no go. If I am working somewhere else and making a decent amount of money then I'm going to start looking to move out of my parents house and on my own. However if I'm still at Universal then I'm most likely going back to college.

This is what I want my style to be like.

It's mostly dresses with layers to them so it shouldn't be that difficult. The only thing I can think about being difficult is trying to save money. I tend to waste money on stuff I really don't need, but completely want. Thankfully I have a friend who I told about my goal to start a new wardrobe and she really wants to do it with me. It might just be the motivation I need. Just knowing that I'm not alone in this and have a support system does wonders. 

I also have a goal to read more books. I'm usually reading fanfiction (which some I think could completely by books on their own from how amazing they are) but my phone is dying extremely quickly because I'm always on it reading. That's another one of my problems, I don't pay my phone bill, my parents do. I have a galaxy s4 but I want an iphone. I'm a waste of money really. Hopefully I can stick to the goal of just making myself healthier and loving the body that I'm in.

Thing's Are Finally on the Move

Usually when I'm not stumbling around on pinterest, I'm usually searching through the pages of deviantart. A while ago I stumbled across a photographer Laura Makabresku and her photos have these little stories that go with them and I slowly got lost in her world. It has this dark touch to them that have kept me fascinated from the moment I learned of her.

 Here are a couple of her works.

I can't deny that they have had a large influence on my writing from the moment that I found her. There's always been a story in my head, all muddled up and barely understandable, but slowly I'm making my way through the details. I've read so many books and fairytales as well where the guy is always the hero. He saves the girl. I don't mind these types of stories. However it's when I spend hours in a bookstore going up and down the same isle and pulling out books from left to right that I find these gems where it's the girl saving the boy. She isn't anything extraordinary (not at first) she's normal and without powers, but the boy makes her this amazing person who has the power to save him and the world sometimes. I absolutely love these types of stories.

That's kind of when I realized that this was what I needed to write. It wasn't about the boy saving his princess. It was about the girl saving her prince, or beast, or even the powerful wizard who was too busy saving everyone else.

I finally have a title that I'm completely in love with and it actually goes with the plot of my story. Yes! I finally have a plot as well and now it's just working on the characters and the small details that make the story a story.

This story really wouldn't have started moving without the inspiration of this song Fire and Fury by Skillet. I have loved this banned for years now, but I stopped listening to them a while back. I went to a concert of theirs a while ago and they played this song and I remember standing in the crowd, letting the music just pulse through me when suddenly I wasn't there anymore. I was watching these two characters and I just knew they were waiting for me to write there story,

Magical Realism or Gothic?

It always comes down to this. I know that my stories have to have some type of fantasy in it. Something that 

makes it extraordinary and not like the world I live in. The idea that I have is so small and isn't really much of anything so it can honestly go either way. 

I've always wanted to try my shot at writing magical realism. I just discovered this genre about a year ago if that and feel absolutely in love with it. Some of my favorite stories are magical realism. Though I always shy away form it because I feel as if my ideas wouldn't really work with it. Maybe magical realism isn't something that I should do a the moment? It's really just a thought.

Then I'm in love with Gothic stories. The dark themes and setting? It's what I've been in love with since I was a kid. I grew up being afraid and in love with monsters. I've always thought about doing something set during the Victorian times (lets face it, the time period is the perfect setting. Everyone knows this) but I'm never been able to write anything that isn't in the 21st century. Maybe now is the perfect time to try?

I just have to think more about it and see how it goes.

Why Can't Titles Be Easier To Choose?

I'm completely terrible at this. Whenever I decide that I'm going to get serious about writing and latch on to an idea I have, I always get stumped on the title. Forget about a plot and character names. I always get stuck on a title because I feel like I need the perfect one. Everyone always says to leave that last and that once I have more of a plot the title will be easier to come up with. No matter how much I try to take their advice, I just can't. I like being able to give my story a title even though it's not really a story yet.

I spent most of my day at work yesterday trying to think of different titles and situations for the story. It didn't really go anywhere. Like, I know for sure that my story is fantasy and that it leans more towards the magical, fairy tale part of fantasy almost. There are still so many details that I have to work out and the longer I think about it, the more excited and frustrated I get.

Every time I think up a title, I realize it doesn't really work. It works better as a chapter than anything else. Hopefully it doesn't keep me down too long.

I discovered a couple sites for writing recently too. Though my favorite by far is figment. It's just so wonderful looking and I've read such amazing stories on there already. I also discovered Camp Nanowrimo, which is a month writing challenge set in July. So my plan is to hopefully start sorting out the plot and details of my story so when July does come, I can start writing. I'm going to make my goal of 20,000 words and hope for the best.

Writers Block Go Away!

The moment I started thinking about these amazing characters and story was the moment that writers block hit me. For the past 2-3 years, I haven't really been able to write much. Most have been short little stories in hopes of getting myself to write something longer, but nothing worked. For the longest time, I could think about nothing but these characters and setting and realized that the story I loved for so long really didn't have much of a plot to it at all.

The last couple years have been a struggle of me moving away and then back to these characters in hope of giving them a decent story some day. Nothings worked though. I've finally reached the point where I miss writing entirely too much and have decided to push those characters into my shoe box where I keep all of my other ideas that I swear I'll get back to late. (I really might!)

I've hidden away everything and decided to start completely on a blank slate. So of course the first thing I went out and did was buy a notebook (I'm better at hand writing, the on the computer. Too many distractions) Its just a regular 70 page notebook. I remember I used to be able to fill one of these bad boys out from beginning to end. I also got myself a pinterest. There's just something about making a board for your story that completely motivates me.

So here's to hopefully kicking writes block in the butt!