Nanowrimo 2014!!!

So here we are fellow writers! It's been three days into November and I can proudly say that I'm keeping up with my word goals. When the 1st came around the corner, I honestly had no idea how I was going to even start off my story. I had the general plot of what the first book was going to be like, I knew what was going to happen and what deep dark secret my vampires were hiding. I even know whats going to happen in the second book and even the third. Something that hasn't happened to me in a good 3 or 4 years now. It feels amazing to know whats going to happen, but I didn't have a clue how it was all going to happen.

So after work on Saturday, I grabbed my notebook and my friend and we headed off to Books A Million. It was a windy, freezing day here in Florida and we knew that it was the perfect weather to crap a cup of coffee and write. Of course the second we got there, I had go browse the bargain section.

I found these two beauties for $10!!! I was excited and ready to start my own story. After claiming a table for ourselves outside and happily sipping at our slight two hot gingerbread mocha's, I opened up my notebook and stared at that blank page wondering just how the heck I was going to start this.

Out of nowhere the words just came to me. They were choppy and not at all like the scenes I was seeing in my head, but I kept telling myself that it was only the first draft. I pushed myself to keep writing, cringing as the words were being written down. The story itself is going great, the sentence structures not so much. After everything though I was completely pleased with what I wrote.

Four hours later, my friend was a jittery mess from the caffeine and I was slowly falling asleep. I drove us home and quickly pulled out my laptop to type what I had gotten so far. I made my word goal and managed to fix somethings as I typed. That's why I prefer writing in notebooks and then transferring to my laptop. I can fix so many things that I hadn't thought off when I was writing it the first time. Still I fight off the urge to go back and fix things.

I still haven't quite found a title for my story. Nothing seems to fit it. I'm hoping the more I write, the more I get closer to snagging up the title. I haven't even gotten a synopsis of it. I haven't had the time to write one down.

But here we are. 3 days in with a little over 5000 words. I don't think I've written this much in a while. At least something that wasn't a short story. For thanksgiving week I'm heading up to New York to take in the sights, and I know its going to be hard to write when I'm going to be so busy. I want to meet the 50,000 word goal and then some.

I have this plan that after I finish with this book, I'm going to re-write it on notebook, then fix the kinks and add or change things. I bought myself a pretty notebook with amazing pages that just sitting on my desk, watching me and waiting for me to write in it.

I'm not entirely sure what I'll do when I finish the story. I really would like to share it with the rest of the world, but who knows. I guess we'll just see. 

It's Almost Here

Nanowrimo is 11 days away you guys! For the past couple years that I've known about Nanowrimo, I've always said that I was going to participate. I would come up with some sort of idea and keep daydreaming about it for the entire month of October. When November came, I started writing and by the second day I was stuck and no longer really motivated to write anything. It's just something horrible that always happens to me. This year I refuse to let it happen again.

If any of you are participating this year, add me as a buddy and hopefully we can do this together. I'm super excited for it. As most of you know, I have recently been hanging out with friend and starting planning out my story. Something that I for see going on to three books, but I'm still working out the kinks. I have the entire plot lines for the second and third book, but still am iffy on the first. Again my brain likes to do thing backwards apparently. So far the way everything is playing out, my world is going to be about witches, humans, and vampires. My entire plot line is based off of these three species, but still I crave to have the entire supernatural community thrown in there at some point, but I really wouldn't know what to do with all of them.

I have most of my main characters and I have their back stories as well. I'm still adding new people here and there that all play some type of important role in the whole thing. I just really need to figure out more about my first book. I know the ending and I know the whole climax of it, but what I don't know is how the story get's there and it's just so frustrating. 

Luckily for the first time, I'm not struggling with the dreaded question of what point of view this story is going to be told in. It mostly focuses on my main characters Katia and Sonya, but there are chapters that follow around other characters as well, even though they aren't very insightful as to whats really happening. They show you what is happening with these other characters, but not what they are thinking or what they really know. I want it to be mysterious and lead up to a  surprising climax.

I'm suffering with finding a title for it though. Everything I try to think of either sounds way to cliche or sounds better as a chapter title instead of a book title.

There's still a lot that I have to work out about my story and I'm hoping to fix a lot of it in the next 11 days, but if not, I keep reminding myself that this would only be a first draft. I think that's why in the previous years I've never been able to participate in Nanowrimo or even get past the couple pages of a story. I always re-read and go back and fix things instead of marching forward. There's only ever been one story that I've written that I got super far into and I'm still completely in love with it. I have it hidden away somewhere and I know that at some point I'm going to dig it out and start it again.

Long Days

The last two weeks haven't been the greatest, but I'm trying my hardest to keep moving forward. Sometimes I forget how one thing can change your entire perception of life and mine was hit hard. It felt like everything that could go wrong, did go wrong and in the span of a couple days too. I'm the kind of person who believes in fate and that everything happens for a reason, so I'm doing my best to let myself grieve, but at the same time keep moving forward because in the end, it's all that any of us can really do.

I finally went to the doctors after years and did a physical. Had my blood drawn for analysis and everything. Seven tubes of blood! It was fascinating and disturbing all at once. Disturbing because I found it fascinating.  We'll get the results soon and see whats going on with me. Hopefully nothing bad, and if so I'm mentally preparing myself to kick ass if it is.

I'm trying to get myself ready for just everything that's about to happen. I can't miss anymore work this year. It's gotten bad and I've slacked on my responsibilities too much. So for the next three months, it's me going to work and trying to get through the days. I'm getting ready for a long vacation in New York. It's going to be so exciting. I'm going to plan it all out, so we know what we are doing those days and to make the most of the trip. Shortly after that comes a new car. With payments and everything, which is why I can't slack off. Then finally I start classes in January after a year without them.Terrifying, but exciting all at the same time.

Before everything that happened, me and my friend managed to get in some writing time. I actually have a rough draft you guys. Something that I see becoming a series (at least three books so far) It's always kinda changing a bit, and I haven't written anything either, it's just me planning and planning. So far I really enjoy what I've gotten but there are still so many things that I haven't gotten right. Nanowrimo is just around the corner and I would really love to participate in it this year. The last couple years, I always say I am, but I never had anything in time. Hopefully this year it'll be different.

With all the things that have happened in the last couple of days, I keep thinking about changing some big details of my story. What I have so far, made the world out to be about vampires, witches, and humans. Though with recent events I keep picturing something different.

I'm not sure what I'll do now, but for the most of it, everything staying unchanged until I decide.

My First Legal Drink!

It's finally happened, I've made it to 21. Usually it wouldn't be a big deal, but considering all m friends are a couple years older than me, it's finally nice to be able to go out with them and have drinks. We had such an amazing time at the cheesecake factory and I couldn't have asked for a better birthday.

My first legal drink and I got a strawberry daiquiri. It was kinda cheating, since I've had one before but it was delicious. I'm dying to try a martini and a margarita now. I also had a shot of washington apple. It was okay, but I would have preferred jack. Now I'm another year older and so much more determined to start my life. I'm trying to look for jobs in libraries that don't require a degree yet.It's actually pretty hard to find one, but whenever a job goes up, I always apply. Crossing my fingers that they call me.

I also can't wait until spring. I'm more than ready to start classes again. After a year without them, I absolutely miss everything about it. So here's to new beginnings.

On a even brighter note, me and my best friend were talking and finally were able to come up with a day that we can go write. We're going to go hang out at Barnes and Nobles, grab some coffee and just plan/write our hearts out. She's a bit ahead of me with knowing what she's going to write. It's a idea that she had had for years now and started writing, but never really knew where to take it. It's been nearly four years and she's finally going back to it, after me begging for so long.

I still haven't a clue as to where I'm ever going to start. I was going over all my old works and they were good, but they aren't something that I would really like to continue. I've always tried to write a vampire story, but it has never worked out for me. Usually because I always think that it should be this dark gothic thing, but in my head when I imagine vampires, its all glam and social elites. I will forever love the dark moody vampires or the vampires that kick ass and wear leather all the time, but in my head, my vampires have a king and a queen, they have masquerades and live in places like New York City, London, Milan, Venice. They are beautiful creatures that deceive and manipulate to get what they want. They've been around for thousands of years 

So I guess I do have a sort of backdrop for my story and what kind of image I want it to give, but that basically all I have. Maybe I'll actually have something to work with for thursday.

It's All New

So it's been a while since I've last posted and I want to say that I've been super productive and been kicking butt with all my goals. Some I have, some I really haven't at all. About a week ago I dug out all my old paints and brushes from the garage and started painting. Nothing big, and it's been nearly two years since I've even thought about drawing, much less painting, but I just got this sudden urge,

My process is really just putting a bunch of colors on the page before it actually turns into anything. I wont even begin to tell you how much of a mess I made. My mom wasn't too pleased with it, but she's always loved my paintings and now we're in the process of hunting down frames so we came put them up in the living room.

Speaking of hunting, there are vampires in Universal. This week was the official start of Halloween Horror Nights and us lucky team members got our very own preview night. Let me tell you, as I was walking through the Dracula house, my mind was going crazy with all sorts of ideas when these vampires were jumping out at us and hissing in our faces. Then my mind was completely blown when we walked through a scare zone that is completely dedicated to a masquerade ball. I was buzzing with excitement and nearly talked my friends ear off with how many story ideas I had.

Although we don't get much of Autumn here in Florida, it's my favorite season. I love the idea of leaves changing colors, the chill in the air just starting and of course, the things that go bump in the night. There's two sides of my really, The side that loves soft and whimsical things and then the slightly larger side that loves all things supernatural and slightly disturbed. There's no middle. Which I think is why I always struggle with my writing. On one hand I want to write whimsical sad stories about journeys and love and then on the other hand I want to right dark gothic stories about blood and curses. I still haven't been able to find an in-between.

There's this one book called Daughter of Smoke and Bones that managed to pull it off so perfectly in my opinion. It's all writing so whimsically and magical, yet at the same time its angels and demons and wars. I want to be able to perfect that skill.

Has anyone ever seen this show? I started watching it when it first aired, but then I was always working and never was able to see it. I found it on netflix the other day and I remember how much I loved it. Now I'm just frustrated it had only one season.

Really all of this is just adding to me wanting to write more, but the big problem is that I don't know what to write. Every time I start to get something, I scrap the idea because it either reminds me too much of something else or because it doesn't want to go anywhere afterwords. Hopefully I'll buckle down and start writing soon.

Slapping Myself Awake

Lately I've been freaking out internally and sometimes externally as well. I started this blog almost three months ago in order to gather my thoughts and to hopefully motivate myself to start writing again. So far, it's been a no go. I have been doing better then I was a year ago where I couldn't even get a basic idea about anything. Now I'm slowly, very slowly trudging forth in some unmarked path that I have no idea where it'll take me, but at least I'm not standing still anymore.

In two months I'm going to be 21. Less then two months really, about 52 days. My 17 year old self is screaming at me asking me why we haven't graduated college yet or why haven't we traveled or heck, why haven't we written one book? Even if it was a complete mess.

Yeah, my 17 year old self had a fondness for cuss words. Now I try to stray away from them, but I can't help but let it get to me. I did have all these plans especially about school. I was never serious about it, but I was the kid who got good grades and had a steady 3.2 GPA. I just never saw the point until I graduated high school and knew that I needed some type of degree so I wouldn't be stuck with a theme park job like everyone else I knew.

Of course here we are four years later with a theme park job and kicking myself for missing so many opportunities that were literally slapping me in the face. Now I'm pushing myself to go back to college after nearly two years without it. Sounds absolutely terrifying, but I know it's going to pay off in the long run.

I know I want to work in a museum or a library. Those are the two things that I'm most sure off. I know I want to study Humanities/History. I know I want to write a book. I don't need to share it with the rest of the world, but it's something I've been wanting to do since I was 11 years old and first figured out that I love writing stories.

Come January, I'm going to head straight towards the campus and start my classes and I'm going to work my butt off. I keep imagining this life for myself and I'm not doing anything about it.

Besides school, there's the way I'm viewing myself both physically and mentally. It isn't healthy at all. I've never been confident in myself at all, and there was a time a couple years ago where it got really bad. I managed to pull through with no ones help but my own. Nobody really understood at the time what I was going through. Everyone could see it, but it was easier for everyone to look away and I don't blame them. Lately, I'm starting to realize that the voices that were always getting my down back then are starting to get louder and louder. Back then I used to drown them out with music and a blade. I've realized that I can't do that again.

So it starts today, changing my thoughts. I realize that I'm probably going to crash and burn a few times and want nothing more than to give up. Hopefully I don't.

Hello August, why is it still so hot?

It's never cold in Florida, not really. We have Summer and then about one month of cooler temperatures at some point between November and February. I hope one of these days I can see all four seasons.

I've started saving up for a car and so far its going well. It's nice actually having money right now. I'm also planning on going back to school, though at the moment I'm not sure which one I want to go too. I've been studying at Valencia for a while before I decided to take a break since I had no clue what I even wanted to study. Now I do, but they don't have to program that I want, where as in Seminole, they do have a course for Humanities and still offer the direct connect to UCF. Only thing is the closest Seminole campus is still pretty far away from my house and I don't want to do online classes. Luckily I still have until December to decide what I want to do.

Work has been going pretty great, though not as well as we had hoped. They are cutting back on hours like crazy which I don't really mind, but at the same time it does suck. At least I'm still getting hours.

Another great thing that's happened is that I started Supernatural. My friend has been telling me about this show for years, and I have seen a couple episodes before and they had been good, I just never really knew much about what was happening. I finally started from season one and I can't believe I've waited this long to get into this show.

This is just to great and I'm slowly dying from all the emotions it makes me feel, plus my paranoia is completely shot and every little sound I hear is a ghost or a demon now. I don't know why I do this to myself, but I don't care.

With all the paranormal stuff going on in the show, made my realize just how much I love this genre and brought me back to when me and my friend visited BAM and I found myself in the New Age area. I've been telling myself I will write something about witches and magic and maybe even demons, vampires and every other things that goes bump in the night for the longest time now, but about five seconds after I make this decision, I go back and say I'm not ready or my idea doesn't have enough to actually start this. So for the past two weeks, I've been tentatively doing some research and reading more stuff in the genre as well as watching more shows about it.

I've got an idea, nothing big yet, but it's a reason to write this out. I have my main character and I have what sets the entire story into motion and keeps it moving. I haven't actually started writing anything down. It's all in my head at the moment slowly making itself more and more real.

Hopefully, if I keep going the way I am, I'll be able to actually start planning on actual paper soon.